Christianity In My Eyes

Hey guys:) How are you all...

I am currently sitting here in shorts and a singlet and slippers...sweating my butt off in this heat! Ho yit la!

Just wanted to blog about something really dear to me...and it's funny, cos I've been assuming a lot of things of late, and have just realised that my Dad was right. I should never assume. There are many people out there who are getting all these emails from me and going...um...Nat's a Christian?...um...what the...?

:) As most of you know I've changed heaps over the past year. And yeah I'm a Christian again.

But since I am over here and away from everything back home, I guess the change is hard to digest and understand. It's easy for me, hey I'm here and I'm me, so it's kinda self-explanatory:) He he.

I grew up in an amazing Christian family and became a Christian when I was 13 years old. But I didn't really understand what it all meant until last year.

So anyway...I left Australia last July thinking I was totally in control of my life, off to Boston to realise my dream to study music at Berklee followed by a hot-shot gig at a 5 star hotel. Cool. Life sorted. Ironically it was at that moment what God stepped in and was like "um...do you really think this is ALL that I have planned for your life? I have much more for you than this".

I walked away from God when I was about 17...and from then until the age of 26 and a half I thought I could do this "life" thing on my own.

Sure I could, to an extent...but I have realised now, that I was selling myself waaaaaaaaaay short. I was living what I thought was the best life I could lead. Had wicked friends (which I still have) amazing family (ditto) and an awesome job singing (ditto again), but yet...I was still searching. For more. Heaps more. More than just "work/friends/home/family/work/friends/family/home". It wasn't enough.

Although in my head I wondered about God, my stubbornness and self-righteousness kept my mind from thinking anymore about it.

Until I was on the aeroplane. Boston bound.

I know many of you have seen The Passion, and I am sure you all have mixed opinions of it, but my belief, wherever I was "at" at that particular moment in time, was that wherever I stood with God, I knew that I still believed in Him, and in Jesus and in the bible.

Watching that movie was like coming home. I saw in that Cathay Pacific TV screen, what Jesus did for me. For me.

At that moment, all my stupid barriers fell down and I suddenly realised that if Jesus can die on the cross for me, then I can at least give him the benefit of the doubt. So I questioned him. Ok God, show me?! Hello? If you are real? Prove it.

I cant even tell you the millions of things that have happened between that moment and now, to confirm that I DO infact (as does every soul on this earth) have someone in control of my life, someone who is faithful, watching out for me, taking the pressure off me, to take care of me, who will never ever EVER forsake me no matter what I do and how crap I am and continue to be, who suffered the worst pain ever imaginable and laid down His life for me. For me. Someone who loves me unconditionally, and that I can trust in with every inch of myself, and that is a damn good feeling considering the state of this world today :)

This is why I really dont like it when people call it a religion.

Cos it's not. I just have a relationship with Jesus. That's it. I believe He's the Son of God who came to this earth to set us free from our crap. And man does this earth have crap. And so now, I've asked for Him to forgive me for dumb things I've done, and so now...you guessed it...freedom. An unbelievably amazing feeling of joy that I cannot explain to you, except to tell you that I have lived without God and I have lived with God.

I have walked both paths. And seriously I couldn't even bear to go back even for a second. I used to go to church with my brother JB (now a Youth Pastor he he) and we would sit in the back row and mock everyone. Wondering what they were doing and why they were "worshipping" like that. I didn't get it.

But I do now. And I cant put it anymore simply than this. God put us on earth for a plan and a purpose. There are no accidents. And we all have a choice. And if we are living without Him, then we are not living to our best. He has proved to me in a million ways that He is real. And I completely trust Him with my life. It's not about rules and regulations. The only rules are simply to live the way Jesus would live. The passion inside me is indescribable. I thought I used to love singing, but when I sing in church it's like...ahhh...I cant be anymore passionate if I tried!!! And I am passionate about telling my story to the younger generation, who are seeking this "something more" even more than us, and they're finding it in all kinds of destructive ways. They have so much to offer yet they are constantly squashed by negativity imparted on them. It's crazy.

And the reason I go to church so much is cos I love it:) He he.

I cant get enough of it.

And THIS is why I am so freakin' excited about Hillsong...big church conference in Sydney next week http://www.hillsong.com/hillsongconference/bin/view.pl?sitename=hillsongconference&page=nights&showhillsong=true ow yeah.

Sorry to crap on but lots of people have been asking questions, what's going on with me and where it all came from, so I hope it answers some of your questions...and keep em' comin:)

Bless you heaps...Melbournians, see you in 2 days............................I am so excited I can hardly BREATHE!!!!!!!!

Stir it up

Love Boxy
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